Story Revision #1 (Changes in Bold Print)

It is midday, and Flip, a small sparrow, is precisely on time for his afternoon bath. He swoops down from his perch in an apricot tree that shades a white plaster birdbath. Alighting perfectly on the edge of the bath, Flip daintily sets one foot in the water, followed by the other. He dips his head into the cool water, takes a sip and uses his front wing feathers to cup water onto his face. Humming to himself, he continues washing in a tidy and efficient manner, each movement hardly disturbing the surface of the water. 

Right as Flip glides to the center of the bath, he flinches at a loud crack resounding in the branches overhead. With a crash, a large, plump blue jay falls down through the branches and lands belly first in the bird bath, creating an enormous splash and drenching Flip. Leaves released from the blue jay's fall float down from the tree, littering the water. Flip stares incredulously at this intruder, his beak dropped in disbelief of his rude and untimely entrance. The blue jay groggily pulls himself to his feet and bangs the water out of his ears. Upon noticing Flip, the blue jay flashes a nonchalant smile and offers a friendly wave, to which Flip responds by promptly turning his back. With closed eyes, he focuses on smoothing his ruffled feathers. After a moment he tentatively sneaks a glance over his shoulder, and notices that the sloppy blue jay is still sitting in the pool. Turning his head back around, he rolls his eyes and continues washing.

The blue jay has now not only started singing loudly and off key, but is splashing profusely and consequently spilling a majority of the water over the edges of the bath. Flip's nerves are wearing thin as he has now been splashed several times. He stiffly marches over to the jay and attempts to push the bird out of the bath, but the blue jay's chaotically splashing wings accidentally knock Flip out of the bird bath, where he lands face first in the mud. Completely irate, Flip yanks himself out of the mud and propels himself back up to the top where the blue jay is now dozing, floating on his back in the water. Flip lands in the water right in front of the jay, and spreads out his wings, preparing to shower him in an enormous splash. Before Flip can complete this action, the blue jay opens his eyes, startled by the shadow Flip cast over his face. This catches Flip off guard, and he hesitates. The blue jay bursts out laughing upon noticing Flip's comical appearance with his feathers ruffled and the mud covering his face. Despite his furiousness, Flip is taken aback by this unexpected reaction and pauses. He notices his reflection in the water---he looks absolutely ridiculous--the mud covers his face like a mustache and beard. He glares in annoyance at the blue jay, who has completely lost control of his laughter. He laughs so hard with flailing wings that he accidentally falls backwards off of the birdbath and into the mud below. Flip peers over the edge and sees the blue jay with a pile of mud on his head in the fashion of a bee-hive hair-do. Now it is his turn to laugh. The blue jay flaps back up into the water, and Flip only laughs harder. The blue jay starts laughing at Flip's muddy face again, and they continue together. This time, Flip splashes the blue jay to clean off the mud, and the blue jay splashes back to return the favor for Flip. They then fly off together as friends.